AP English Literature and Composition 2009
Question Three( Symbol)
Open Prompt-Select a novel or play in which you analyze one symbol and explain how the symbol functions to establish meaning/revelations in characters or theme.
Critique One: Student 3A
Introductory paragraph reads much like any old introductory paragraph. The student briefly underlines the importance of a symbol and then transitions into a somewhat barely there thesis statement arguing the importance of a wild duck in Henrik Ibsen's The Wild Duck.The student manages to identify the importance of this symbol through the development of characters and events within the thesis, but a more original approach would have been appreciated other than ending with "...leaving his audience with an interesting sentiment." What sentiment?
He/She then transitions into a first body paragraph that provides a background of information considering the family of characters he/she is analyzing through the symbolic wild duck. The student then capitulates that the significance of this wild duck serves as a representation of the family's "tranquility and happiness". From there the student considers the importance of one of the characters as a major instigator in birthing the presence of this symbol through Greggors(the character), in The Wild Duck. The commentators responded to this observation by writing "exceptionally insightful".
Despite the weak thesis, the essay remains well organized and provides in depth/articulated arguments and details to support the function of the wild duck. Although I have never read The Wild Duck this student didn't cause my mind to wander. Through his/her organization and focus I followed along quite nicely and his/her hard work paid off. A score of 9. Wow.
Critique Two: Student 3B
No flowery intro for this student. Nope, straight to the symbol.Obvious. A lampshade. Although this student vaguely/simply writes a thesis of Tennessee William's play "A Streetcar Named Desire" regarding how lampshades serve as a symbol for hiding/covering the truth, the student later expands( my thoughts plus commentators) further in later paragraphs about this symbol's importance in revealing the reality of character in that of Blanche Dubois. He/she argues briefly that Blanche Dubois' obsession with the lampshade is more than a measure used to hide her aging image. Unfortunately for me, I became quickly unsatisfied after finishing my read of this essay because although the writer has notable points, he/she provides surface discussion that don't always leave the reader astounded;wanting to know more.By analyzing more than one character I believe that the student may have received a better score than a 6 to express her knowledge of how the lampshade impacted characters throughout the play.Yes, the student expresses his/her ideas clearly, but he/she begins the argument really in the last paragraph where she addresses the fact that Blanche's obsession with the lampshade stems from the need to cover the bitter loss of her husband, a loss she herself played a part in by revealing one of his "dark" secrets.
Critique Three: Student 3C
The first sentence kills me."Things Fall Apart was a novel based on pride and strength and power" Anything else you want to add in there? And trust and friendship and blah blah blah...alright, so I'm making some of that up. Soo? The use of "and" forces the intelligence of the paper to lower many levels and read like that of a choppy first grader's attempt at answering "What do you like to eat for fun and why?" That is ONE of my problems with this essay.But the more serious problem in the introductory paragraph concerns the use of the past tense. This novel still is so no need to write that it was.From there the writer writes, "...in my opinion" Oh, NO! I hate the use of "I" in an analytically driven essay. It sounds elementary.
And the essay continued to sound as such. Even though this student tried to prove the impact of the machete in Things Fall Apart through the character Okonkwo, the essay's lack of structure and support screamed POORLY WRITTEN. The student's responses were either poorly displayed or not even there at all. For example, "The machete is used for defense purposes" No duh. How does that make the machete symbolic of power? He/she doesn't even address the importance of the machete as a symbol in this paragraph. Instead he/she writes, "Okonkwo needed that machete. He needed it to survive. He needed it to fight dangers" Symbolism? No wonder he/she received a 4. The commentators and I agreed about his claims They needed more support and meaning to allow for an improved score.
It is encouraging when students use simple language and structure in their essays and receive
ReplyDeletehigh scores in return. The myth that one must be an extraterrestrial to do well on AP tests has been
denounced, once again! In the most of the student essays I felt there were clear distinctions between
the best, average, and worst. However, the 2009 samples are not as clearly defined. Each essay had a
strong beginning statement but, where student 1B and 1C fell short was through organization. All the
content was there but, it was displayed in an incoherent fashion. Your last bit of advice demonstrates
that you learned an important trick when it comes to AP essay writing. AP scorers are not looking for
who can write the most creative essay with the most sophisticated speech; they look for content,
supported by ample detail, and organization—all while answering the prompt.
Ludia,
ReplyDeleteYou do a good job of analysis and expressing your reactions, pointing out elements that surprised you and others that you understand helped the writer get his or her score. Pointing out what was necessary, and what wasn't, is very enlightening. Though you do explain your reasoning, I would have liked some direct lines from the writings. But that is just me. Summing up the scores that the next two writers received would also be helpful.
Your comment of "multiple short quotes competing for attention" in the second essay is also very interesting, as I never thought of quotes coming together and jamming the message. It just wasn't a problem that I considered. Thanks for your insight.
Your top tip was a good way to summarize what you learned. I have to remember to remember that.
Ludia,
ReplyDeleteLike what Matthew said, you do a really good job of "analysis and showing your reactions" thought the pieces you have read and try to example why they got there scores. To be honest there's not much to be said but i really like the tip towards the end of the post. " So folks, answer the question, remain organized, and don't try to impress the critics. Seriously, just follow the prompt" because thats exactly what i think the AP critics want because just think how many essays they have to read and grade??? there just looking for the Straight points and clearly said answering the prompt at all times, because in reality you don't get points if you don't answer what's being asked? In that note, just like what the others said, your tip summarizes everything you have learned for writing AP essays which i totally agreed with and would remember it when its our time to write one.